Boundaries help you to speak up for yourself and for your own needs. They’re a crucial part of self-care and strong boundaries can help you to be a much better caregiver. When you have strong boundaries that frees up a lot of mental and emotional energy so that you can focus on what else you need to do, but they’re not always easy to set. Here are a few reasons why.
You Don’t Realize You Need Them.
Boundaries are complex and yet simple all at the same time. They’re so simple, in fact, that you have probably had all sorts of boundaries throughout your life, but you haven’t really noticed them. Physical boundaries encompass the actual space you need around yourself. Emotional boundaries are a little more difficult to pin down, but they’re equally important.
You’re Wrapped up in Being a Good Caregiver.
When you want to be a good caregiver, you might start to tell yourself that you have to keep everyone happy because that’s how they’ll believe that you’re doing good things. This mentality can cause you to ignore your own needs, though. Just because you’re a caregiver, that doesn’t mean that’s all you are.
You Don’t Feel Worthy of Good Boundaries.
Caregiving, especially when you’ve had bad boundaries for a long time, can leave you with low self-worth. When you don’t feel as if you’re worthy of having strong boundaries that protect you, you might put up with just about anything. That damages your self-worth even more.
You’re Worried You’ll Let Other People Down.
Lots of times caregivers get bogged down in other peoples’ expectations. And if you let those other people down, then you’re not doing what you should be doing as a caregiver. But sometimes your needs are more important than what other people expect of you.
You Fear Other People’s Reactions.
With some relationships you might not be worried about guilt so much as you are other reactions, like anger. This might cause you to ignore your own boundaries because you want to keep the peace. In the end, you’re the one who suffers from those choices.
As a caregiver, you need to have good boundaries. When you don’t, you’re going to feel as if you’re on the wrong side of most situations. That’s not a feeling that you want to have as a caregiver, either. It’s worth it to figure out what boundaries you need to set and then get serious about them.